in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
