You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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