what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
try to milk me bitch
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
