i just had sex bonerless
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
