I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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