OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Randomize
