I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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