party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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