It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
We talked him into tasing himself.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
