i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
