Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
