Pants 0. Shit 1.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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