I heard we made out
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
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