I love black thongs
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
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