Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
