Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
