yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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