I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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