I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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