Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
