yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
