Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
