he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
no you cant smoke seaweed
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
