Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
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