party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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