i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
