Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
