carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
