remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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