just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
