How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
