I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
