Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
