I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
