ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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