Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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