Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Randomize
