Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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