I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
