you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
