A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
