I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
