i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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