Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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