That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I understand Curling. That high.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
