I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
