I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
