we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
