Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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