Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
