I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
