"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
