Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
